Today

I worked on a post yesterday that I was going to post today.  It was long and probably super depressing about what these past weeks have been like.

And then today happened. So I'll post that other post some other time, because this needs to be posted today.

The past few days I have been more numb than not. I haven't cried much. I just haven't felt connected to my body.

And because I haven't cried much, I have felt guilty about not crying much. 

Grief is ridiculous.

Then...today. I went on a field trip to the History Center. I'll be honest about the fact that I don't like field trips and wasn't excited about it. We made it through the morning and were in the cafe to get lunch. I got myself a salad and grabbed a diet coke. As I was walking to the cashier I looked down and saw this:

My body all of a sudden connected to my brain and my stomach plummeted and I couldn't breathe for a second.

I went to show it to my coworker and she looked at it, looked at me, and said, "Your dad is saying hi!"

Needless to say, there were tears today. 

Hi Dad.