Now that we're on the other side, I thought I'd address what I wrote and also include all my favorite pictures of our 2.
Back in March I wrote:
First off, I feel ridiculous even having this much anxiety. I'm obviously SO thankful that we are having another child. SO SO SO SO SO THANKFUL. And then I think about Chris' parents who went from a family of 3 to a family of 5 with the arrival of the twin boys...and I also think about Chris' cousin Simone and her husband Tyler who went from a family of 3 to a family of 6 with the arrival of their triplet boys...and I think to myself, Get over it, self, you'll be fine. But no matter if you're going from 3 to 4 or 3 to 6, the fear of the unknown is going to be there. And I'm living in that fear right now.
The unknown is here, and self, you ARE totally fine. Better than fine, you are great. Just a wee bit tired.
We're sitting pretty here in the land of 1 child. We're dealing with the mood swings and ups and downs that toddler hood brings but we're able to play a little zone defense because there are two adults. Two of us can sometimes barely handle our 1. This summer we're going to be moving into the land where we'll have to play man-to-man. My coveted "me" time will be drastically reduced, our lovely uninterrupted sleeps will be done for, and...well...there is always the scary thought of dealing with diaper blowouts again.
Well, at this point I'd welcome some diaper blowouts, but we did have 3 poops this week so we're on a roll. As for man-to-man defense...we're doing pretty good. And during the week it is 2-on-1 and I'm totally surviving. Most days. As for my "me" time? A lot of it is spent with a baby sleeping on my chest. Like right now. I'm typing this post one-handed. Are you impressed?
And as for sleeping...let's just say it is getting better.
Most of our friends that have kids already have more than one. We have had the benefit of seeing a number of families transition from 3 to 4 fairly close up. We're obviously not there for the middle of the night shenanigans and the lack of sleep and then ins and outs of having 2. But what we don't see, our friends have been pretty good about being honest and telling us about. It is a wee bit scary to hear their stories sometimes.
Now we are living the ins and outs and shenanigans and it is amazing how you just deal with and power through the tough times and live for and soak up the great times.
If you know us well, you know that Chris and I are HARDCORE about sleep schedules. We don't venture out between 1:00 and 3:00 because we would rather lose a limb than miss out on nap time. And if there is an evening event scheduled that will go past 8:00, well, you'll only see one of us there. Because there is no way in heck we're messing with bed time.
We still don't mess with bed time, especially now when nap time is hit or miss. But to be honest, it is a little freeing to not worry about getting home by 1:00. And Maya sleeps better out and about in noisy places than she does in the quiet of home, so we are pretty flexible now. During the day. Bedtime is 7:00 now. Sorry social life. We'll catch you again in about 10 years.
THE MOM GUILT. I'm terrified of the guilt I'm going to feel when I can't help Callie when she needs it or I can't give her the attention she wants like she is used to getting. While I know that she needs her world to be rocked a little bit (can you say DIVA?), I worry about how our relationship will change as I open my heart to this other little diva.
The guilt isn't really there. I do feel bad sometimes when she asks me to do something and I can't because I'm dealing with the baby. She has had her moments and we have had our struggles, but her world was definitely rocked for the better. She knows I'm still her mom and that will never ever change. My heart is big enough for both little divas.
Whenever I'm home with Callie and want to go do something, we do. She is easily portable and generally behaves in public. I'm scared of losing the ease of travel. How in the world do you wrangle a toddler into the car while holding a baby carrier?
Done and done. No biggie. We get out, no problem. Babies can't move from baby carriers, so you can set them down to wrangle the other one in the car. It will be more tricky when they are both in regular car seats. But I won't let my brain go there yet...let's just get through this baby stage first.
But with all the anxiety and questions and lack of confidence in my abilities to multi-task, I am SO. FREAKING. EXCITED. for Hamsie to join our world and make our 3 into a 4. To make me a mom of 2 instead of 1. And to make Callie a big sister. I can not WAIT for Callie to be a big sister. She is going to be amazing. And I can't wait to watch their sister bond form and grow and flourish. I can't wait for Callie to help with diaper changes and feedings and play time. I can't wait for her to introduce her to all things princesses and pink and purple. I can't wait to see how they are similar. I can't wait to see how they are different. I can't wait to compare their pictures at every age (prepare to see A LOT of side-by-side shots on this blog once #2 comes!). I can't wait to watch Chris fall in love with yet another little girl. I can't wait to pick out her name (haven't really thought about it much yet, in case you were wondering). I can't wait for our families to see us go from 3 to 4, and to support us in the same amazing way they do now. I just can't wait.
Sisters reading from Baby Goose on Vimeo.
As for the side-by-sides, hello Throwback Thursdays!
So despite the lack of sleep, lack of "me" time, and some preschooler shenanigans, we are here in the land of 2 and LOVING it.
