Chasing the Sun

"You said

remember that life is

not meant to be wasted

We can always be chasing the sun...

So fill up your lungs and just run

We'll always be chasing the sun...

 

 

There's a history through her

sent to us as a gift from the future...

To show us the proof,

More than that it's to dare us to move

And to open our eyes

And to learn from the skies...

All we can do is try

And live like we're still alive... 

 

And the gift of my heartbeat sounds like a symphony...

You said

remember that life is

not meant to be wasted

We can always be chasing the sun..."

I was out for a run tonight on this beautiful evening and this song came on.  Gratitude and peace filled me, and I'm so thankful for the opportunity I just had to chase the sun.

The lyrics I quoted come from a beautiful song written and performed by Sara Bareilles (who I just happen to be seeing in concert next week!!!).  If you'd like to hear it, have a listen.  But I'll warn you, it is the kind of song that you may need tissues for, or one you may want to play on repeat for days.

A Dad-tervention

This is gonna sound weird, but I'm pretty sure my dad spoke to me through a Katy Perry song this morning...

If I told that to him, he'd say, "Who?" 

Let me back up.

These last weeks have been hard- exhausting physically and emotionally. My half-marathon training is at it's peak and instead of feeling stronger, it just feels harder and harder. The same thing can be said about the grief stuff too. 

I had a terrible 10K run over the weekend. So I wasn't jumping out of bed this morning to get out there again. But I did (about an hour later than usual) and during the first part of my run I planned a blog post titled "Running on Empty." 

Doesn't that sound like a riveting read?

Anyway, my music was on a random shuffle (not that I was really paying much attention to it) and I was composing the post in my head. All of a sudden I hear these lyrics pumping through my headphones:

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,

Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin

Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?"

Oh my gosh. Yes, Katy. Yes I do.

"Do you ever feel already buried deep six feet under,

Screams but no one seems to hear a thing?"

And then all of a sudden I thought *maybe* this might be a message from Dad.

"Do you know that there's still a chance for you

'Cause there's a spark in you?

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine

Just own the night like the 4th of July."

A reminder about light. I need to look up more.

And then the chorus. About fireworks. I should explain that the only time I have seen fireworks in the past 6 years was our New Years Eve in Aruba this past January. With my Dad.

"'Cause baby you're a firework

Come on show them what you're worth

Make 'em go 'oh, oh, oh!'

As you shoot across the sky-y-y."

Aruban fireworks

So that got my butt in gear and I kicked my run up a notch.  I was towards the end of it, and "Firework" is a really good running song. 

And then, just in case he thought I wasn't paying attention or doubting him, the song that ended my run was "Chasing the Sun."  I have a history of LOVING that song.  Because of lyrics like this:

"You said remember that life is not meant to be wasted,
We can always be chasing the sun...

All we can do is try
And live like we're still alive...

And the gift of my heartbeat sounds like a symphony..."

So I may have been crying, but I ended my run much stronger than I started.  And I credit that to my dad.  And am thankful for the reminder to keep looking for the light.

 

Spring Break Wrap-Up: The AZ Edition!

 Hey all!  We are home from a whirlwind spring break week in Arizona. 

On Monday morning, we woke the girls up at 4:45am to head to the airport.  The flight was easy peasy, and we got a lovely view of the sunrise.

When we landed we went to get NYC bagels in Scottsdale. Complete with poppy seeds that got stuck in my teeth!

Then we went to my Uncle Jim and Aunt Coco’s condo. After a tour, including a stop up on the roof with an amazing view, we walked around their neighborhood and ate lunch at a delicious Mexican place near their condo.

Then it was time for the pool! They had a cold plunge pool (bottom right picture), and Callie was a ROCKSTAR.  That is her in the cold pool (maybe 45 degrees?) and Maya is in the warm pool.  We all did the cold plunge, but Callie didn't seem bothered by it at all.  Ha!

Later that afternoon, we went to check into our first Airbnb house (complete with a putting green in the back), and then we met up for dinner with Jim and Coco at The Cheesecake Factory. Callie was very excited to pick out the cheesecakes for the table for dessert.

On Tuesday morning I went for a run in the neighborhood.

Then we met up with Jim and Coco at the Arizona Boardwalk to go to the aquarium!

Chris, of course, had a blast touching all the stingrays...and Maya, Uncle Jim and Aunt Coco did too!

The girls posed in front of a green screen and we got some very interesting photos...LOL!

We ate lunch at a restaurant with dinosaurs hanging from the ceiling (and a big one chasing me outside!). AND later we got to create our own ice cream sandwiches.

We also got to go see butterflies. They loved landing on Uncle Jim!

Later we hung out back at our house and then went back to their condo and went out for a pizza dinner. The time change meant that Maya was VERY tired by the end of dinner the first couple nights, but I didn’t mind the dinner snuggles.

On Wednesday morning, I went on a sunrise walk and it was lovely.

Then it was time to head north! We picked up donuts and coffee and started out our next leg of the trip.

Our first step was the Out of Africa Animal Wildlife Rescue Park!  We started off with a bus ride tour to see a lot of the animals.

And we got to feed giraffes! They made themselves at home by sticking their heads into the bus.

Then we went on a walking tour to see more animals.

Our next stop was hiking in SEDONA! The weather got cooler as we headed north, but the sunshine was glorious.

It. Was. GORGEOUS.

After a 2 mile hike, Chris and Callie decided to take the shuttle back to our car, and Maya and I walked the extra mile to get some more amazing views! She also wanted to take a tricky panoramic photo so she could have a "twin."

Then we headed up to Flagstaff! There was still snow on the ground and it was about as cold as home has been, but we still decided to get ice cream and then hung out at our next Airbnb for the evening.

On Thursday morning we headed more north to THE GRAND CANYON!!! The line to get in was VERY long, but once we finally got through the gates we were greeted by some wildlife.

We went to the visitor's center (which was closed) but made it to a lookout point near there and got our first view of the canyon.  WOW.

We stopped at a few other lookout points along the way.  The views never disappointed.

And then it was Callie's turn to do the tricky panoramic shot, but if you zoom in on her "twin" on the right, she looks a little rough...ha!

And then on the way back down to Flagstaff, we FaceTimed Luna, and then the girls and I went out to a brewery for dinner.  Chris wasn't feeling great, so we took the opportunity to slow down and just relax at the house for the night.

On Friday morning we got up and started heading back down to Scottsdale. On the way we stopped at Montezuma Castle. 

And then we stopped at the Rock Shop and explored the area around it. The girls and I picked out souvenirs and played around. 

And then it was back to Jim and Coco’s for swimming!

After the afternoon in the sun, the freckles were popping!

Jim and Coco grilled a wonderful dinner up by the pool and we enjoyed the sunset. 


After that we went and enjoyed more lovely views on their balcony. It was a wonderful way to end the evening, and the vacation.

This morning we were out the door by 6:30am and had another easy flight home. And we reunited with Luna!

As you can see if you made it this far, we had just a wonderfully magical time in Arizona. Click here for some videos from along the way. 

Dark and Light

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

-John 1:5

I have heard these words at church, over and over, my whole life. 

I'm not much of a theologian, but I know that's the promise. That the light of the world will always over power the dark, even in the hardest times.

And what I have heard a lot this past week from different situations or people or readings is about exactly that- light coming from darkness. Hope coming from despair. Joy coming from sorrow.

"God never says, you should have come yesterday;

he never says, you must come again tomorrow,

but today if you hear his voice,

today he will hear you...

He brought light out of darkness,

not out of lesser light;

he can bring thy summer out of winter,

though thou have no spring.

All occasions invite his mercies,

and all times are his seasons."

-John Donne (from a daily meditations book called "Healing After Loss").

Frankly, it is still hard for us to believe that there is light that can come out of this darkness. 

But that must be why we keep getting these reminders.

"One the light of God's own presence on the ransomed people shed,

Chasing far the gloom and terror, bright'ning all the path we tread.

One the object of our journey, one the faith that never tires,

One the earnest looking forward, one the hope our God inspires."

-Hymn: "Through the Night of Doubt and Sorrow"

We have been lucky enough to have spent a lot of time with wonderful friends and family these past 7 weeks. We know we are not alone. They have been our light. Yet, there is a raw darkness, a sorrow, that permeates through the togetherness because it is hard to imagine all the future gatherings like this- without him.

"Grief is not something to be fixed. It’s something to be borne, together. And when the time is right, there is always something that is born from it. After real grief, we are reborn as people with wider and deeper vision and greater compassion for the pain of others...Hope is a door each one must open for herself."

-Glennon Melton,  from her book "Carry On Warrior"

Since my dad died I have been a little obsessed (obviously!) with taking pictures of the sun.  It is a daily reminder that light DOES come from darkness.  Every day. 

 

And so what we need to do is remember the promise and look for the light. Every day. As hard as it may be.