Caught between the promise and the things I know.
-Sara Groves
Changes are coming. We have been so busy that we haven't had time to really think about it all. We closed on our new house on the 1st. We have spent the week (with lots of help from friends and family) going back and forth...bringing some stuff, cleaning, painting, electrical projects, etc. The back and forth has given me lots more quiet time in the car than I'm used to. It has given me time to think, to get excited, to freak out, to anticipate, to dwell in this time of hanging on to our old life, but also looking forward to the new one that is just around the corner.
My friend Melissa sent me this link that gives a name to this in between time: zwischen, which literally means between.
http://www.mothering.com/community/a/the-last-days-of-pregnancy-a-place-of-in-between
In my alone time in the car I have been playing one of my iPod mixes, titled "Old School Mix 2," on shuffle during these car trips. (The songs take me back to college, hence the "old school" in the title.) One of the songs that keeps coming up is Sara Groves' "Painting Pictures of Egypt." This song has always been my go-to song for when big changes are happening in my life. So it couldn't be more appropriate that I keep hearing it during my iPod playlist shuffle.
It is a song based on the story in the Bible about the experience of the Hebrew people leaving slavery in Egypt and heading on an arduous journey to God's promised land. But it transcends time and applies to anyone who is about to make a change in their life. That is why I love it. Her lyrics are beautiful.
Painting Pictures of Egypt
By: Sara Groves
I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend
It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this
CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned
The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know
BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If you'd like to hear the song (it is beautiful!) here is the video for it.
So I will spend the next who-knows-how-long listening to this song on repeat as I sit in zwischen and try to let go of the things I know and look forward to the exciting but unknown promise of what is to come.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Friday, July 5, 2013
Favorite-Things-Phone-Dump Friday
This week has been...well...a little bit nuts. A LOT nuts actually.
We closed on our new house on Monday and have been slowly getting ready to move in all week. Movers come this Monday. Three more sleeps in St. Paul before we become official suburbanites. It hurts my heart a little to say that, but our new house couldn't be more perfect for us.
And then, to top off the nutty of the week, we had our ultrasound and doctor's appointment this morning. The great news is that Hamsie is not gigantic like we thought last week. She is measuring right on track (7 pounds 1 ounce according to the ultrasound, though they can be off by a pound), and I was measuring 37 weeks as well.
The interesting news, is that she somehow managed to shift around this week so she is totally sideways..."hammock style" as my doctor said. And she drew a picture to illustrate it.
I believe the official term is transverse. Her head is on my right side and her face is squished right up against me and the placenta, so our ultrasound tech couldn't really get a good picture. I'm going in to the hospital tomorrow so my doctor can try and manually shift her back so her head is down. She said it could be tough with the amount of fluid and the placement of the placenta, but we're going to try. If it works and she stays down, then we can wait for labor to start naturally. If it doesn't, and she decides she likes the hammock position, then we'll probably have to schedule a C-section for after 39 weeks.
Hamsie is already keeping us on our toes...wonder if she'll be like that after she is born!
On to the pictures of the week...
My most favorite thing, which I did not get any good pictures of, was the amount of help we have gotten from family and friends this week at our new house. We are SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO lucky to have so many people ready and willing to help with whatever we need. So thank you to EVERYONE who came and helped, and all of those who sent nice good vibes and prayers our way. Seriously, we couldn't be more thankful and blessed.
If you want to keep sending good vibes and prayers, I could use them at 1:00 tomorrow. Let's hope that Hamsie cooperates!
Have a great weekend!
We closed on our new house on Monday and have been slowly getting ready to move in all week. Movers come this Monday. Three more sleeps in St. Paul before we become official suburbanites. It hurts my heart a little to say that, but our new house couldn't be more perfect for us.
And then, to top off the nutty of the week, we had our ultrasound and doctor's appointment this morning. The great news is that Hamsie is not gigantic like we thought last week. She is measuring right on track (7 pounds 1 ounce according to the ultrasound, though they can be off by a pound), and I was measuring 37 weeks as well.
The interesting news, is that she somehow managed to shift around this week so she is totally sideways..."hammock style" as my doctor said. And she drew a picture to illustrate it.
I believe the official term is transverse. Her head is on my right side and her face is squished right up against me and the placenta, so our ultrasound tech couldn't really get a good picture. I'm going in to the hospital tomorrow so my doctor can try and manually shift her back so her head is down. She said it could be tough with the amount of fluid and the placement of the placenta, but we're going to try. If it works and she stays down, then we can wait for labor to start naturally. If it doesn't, and she decides she likes the hammock position, then we'll probably have to schedule a C-section for after 39 weeks.
Hamsie is already keeping us on our toes...wonder if she'll be like that after she is born!
On to the pictures of the week...
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| Favorite Thing #1: Our new house! |
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| Favorite Thing #2: My lap space is being taken over, but we make it work |
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| Favorite Thing #3: A play date with my friend Rachael and her daughter Stella |
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| Favorite Thing #4: Starting to put together the "big girl room" |
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| Favorite Thing # 5: Playing at G-ma and G-pa's house |
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| Favorite Thing #6: Where I spent an hour of my day today- getting a prenatal massage. AMAZING. |
My most favorite thing, which I did not get any good pictures of, was the amount of help we have gotten from family and friends this week at our new house. We are SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO lucky to have so many people ready and willing to help with whatever we need. So thank you to EVERYONE who came and helped, and all of those who sent nice good vibes and prayers our way. Seriously, we couldn't be more thankful and blessed.
If you want to keep sending good vibes and prayers, I could use them at 1:00 tomorrow. Let's hope that Hamsie cooperates!
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Red, White and Cute...Part 4
Happy 4th of July! This is Callie's FOURTH 4th!
We haven't really talked with her yet that we are now in the month of July. This is why:
Me: Okay! Let's get your 4th of July outfit on!
Callie: July? Now Hamsie can come out!
Patience, little girl, patience. We aren't quite ready yet. But close. :)
Have a wonderful and safe Independence Day!
We haven't really talked with her yet that we are now in the month of July. This is why:
Me: Okay! Let's get your 4th of July outfit on!
Callie: July? Now Hamsie can come out!
Patience, little girl, patience. We aren't quite ready yet. But close. :)
Have a wonderful and safe Independence Day!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Weekend Wrap-Up
Overwhelmed.
That is how I feel right now.
July of 2013 is going to go in the books as a pretty epic month for our family, so I'm just trying to take things a day at a time and not freak out.
The great thing is all the changes we have coming in the next few weeks are beyond exciting.
It is just...well...overwhelming. That is the only word to describe it.
On to the weekend.
Saturday
We stayed home for most of the day and took it easy. Did lots of playing and resting and negotiating (which is what seems to happen QUITE often with a willful 3-year-old) and dancing.
We went over to the Held's for dinner and Callie had fun playing with Mabel's new princess castle.
Sunday
Cal went over to hang out with G-pa and the doggies so Chris and I could clean the house.
Then there was naptime at the condo, where we hung out with Bops and Gi-Gi. Callie and Bops had fun reading books together.
Tonight we headed over to the Wicks' new house for a BBQ. The girls had a blast playing both inside and outside. We realized, though, that it will be REALLY nice when they are a little bit older and won't have to be supervised while playing. Once again, our negotiating skills were put to use trying to keep them occupied and satisfied playing in the places we wanted them to be.
As for Hamsie, her update from Friday is what I got. The baby center app doesn't seem too accurate now, as it says she is 6.33 pounds. We'll find out for sure on Friday, but it seems like that is not the case with thislittle big one.
So the weekend is almost over and our month of major life changes starts tomorrow. We'll keep you posted.
That is how I feel right now.
July of 2013 is going to go in the books as a pretty epic month for our family, so I'm just trying to take things a day at a time and not freak out.
The great thing is all the changes we have coming in the next few weeks are beyond exciting.
It is just...well...overwhelming. That is the only word to describe it.
On to the weekend.
Saturday
We stayed home for most of the day and took it easy. Did lots of playing and resting and negotiating (which is what seems to happen QUITE often with a willful 3-year-old) and dancing.
We went over to the Held's for dinner and Callie had fun playing with Mabel's new princess castle.
Sunday
Cal went over to hang out with G-pa and the doggies so Chris and I could clean the house.
Then there was naptime at the condo, where we hung out with Bops and Gi-Gi. Callie and Bops had fun reading books together.
Tonight we headed over to the Wicks' new house for a BBQ. The girls had a blast playing both inside and outside. We realized, though, that it will be REALLY nice when they are a little bit older and won't have to be supervised while playing. Once again, our negotiating skills were put to use trying to keep them occupied and satisfied playing in the places we wanted them to be.
As for Hamsie, her update from Friday is what I got. The baby center app doesn't seem too accurate now, as it says she is 6.33 pounds. We'll find out for sure on Friday, but it seems like that is not the case with this
So the weekend is almost over and our month of major life changes starts tomorrow. We'll keep you posted.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Favorite-Things-Phone-Dump Friday
I'll start this post out with a Hamsie update. I had a doctor's appointment today, and I'm measuring 40 weeks (I'm only 36 weeks, 5 days...). My doc thinks this girl could already be 8 pounds, though she said there may be a lot of fluid around her so she wants to make sure with an ultrasound. That is scheduled for next Friday. If Hamsie is that big, it is a good possibility that we'll have to get her into the world earlier than her due date, so I don't end up having to birth a 10 pound baby. We'll know more next week... I guess there is a good reason that I feel so huge and exhausted! Because I am already potentially toting around an 8 pounder before she is even born.
On to the pictures from the week...
Have a great weekend!
On to the pictures from the week...
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| Favorite Thing #1: Intense playtime |
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| Favorite Thing #2: Those flip flop indents I mentioned yesterday (okay, not really one of my favorite things, but I picture I took none-the-less) |
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| Favorite Thing #3: Hamsie cuddles |
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| Favorite Thing #4: The name of the new Starbucks blend |
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| Favorite Thing #5: Breakfast |
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| Favorite Thing #6: Hanging out with Auntie Cat |
Have a great weekend!
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Summer vs. Winter Pregnancy
So with Callie, the uncomfortable end of my pregnancy was in December. Aaaahhhh, December. I can just imagine the chill in the air. How lovely it must have been.
This time around, the uncomfortable end is in June and July. IT IS SO HOT IN JUNE and JULY. Like SO SO SO SO HOT.
For example, I was at a 4-day training this week. We were in a VERY air conditioned room (thankfully). Other people were wearing sweatshirts. Some brought blankets. I was happy to be in my tank tops or summer dresses, and STILL had to fan myself at various times.
In December, I was able to wear big bulky sweaters and slippers (the only shoes my feet could fit in to by the end). So I was relatively covered up.
This time around, I try and wear as little as possible without being indecent. Cotton dresses are my friend. Shorts and tank tops. But no bulky layers, so my bump is just out there under a single layer, for all the world to stare at. (And they do.) And my swollen feet can't be hidden by slippers. It is flip flops all the way...no other sandals fit and any other shoe is too darn hot. So by the end of the day I have lovely flip flop lines in my feet. Not flip flop tan lines, just flip flop indents because of the swelling. It is pretty awesome. Also, because I'm not wearing pants, my cankles are on full display as well. I have never felt more lovely.
But, despite pregnancy, there are obviously some great things about having a baby in the summer.
We aren't in the middle of the H1N1 virus chaos, so we won't feel the need to be cooped up and quarantined the first months of Hamsie's life. We'll get to go on walks right away and won't have to bundle a newborn in a ridiculous amount of layers just to leave the house. Oh- and we won't get stuck in a snow storm on the way home from the hospital. That'll be a big plus.
It has been interesting having opposite experiences with pregnancy towards the end, though the pregnancies themselves have felt fairly similar. I go to the doctor tomorrow, which I'll be doing weekly now until she comes. I'm anxious to find out my progress, baby position, and anything else I'll be able to find out. It is time to get ready for this little one!
And for some exciting news for our family- Callie's great-grandma (Gi-Gi) has officially moved from Eau Claire to Minneapolis! We went to visit her at her new place tonight, and it will be wonderful to have her in town. Especially with all the fun changes that will be happening this month. Welcome to Minnesota, Gi-Gi!
This time around, the uncomfortable end is in June and July. IT IS SO HOT IN JUNE and JULY. Like SO SO SO SO HOT.
For example, I was at a 4-day training this week. We were in a VERY air conditioned room (thankfully). Other people were wearing sweatshirts. Some brought blankets. I was happy to be in my tank tops or summer dresses, and STILL had to fan myself at various times.
In December, I was able to wear big bulky sweaters and slippers (the only shoes my feet could fit in to by the end). So I was relatively covered up.
This time around, I try and wear as little as possible without being indecent. Cotton dresses are my friend. Shorts and tank tops. But no bulky layers, so my bump is just out there under a single layer, for all the world to stare at. (And they do.) And my swollen feet can't be hidden by slippers. It is flip flops all the way...no other sandals fit and any other shoe is too darn hot. So by the end of the day I have lovely flip flop lines in my feet. Not flip flop tan lines, just flip flop indents because of the swelling. It is pretty awesome. Also, because I'm not wearing pants, my cankles are on full display as well. I have never felt more lovely.
But, despite pregnancy, there are obviously some great things about having a baby in the summer.
We aren't in the middle of the H1N1 virus chaos, so we won't feel the need to be cooped up and quarantined the first months of Hamsie's life. We'll get to go on walks right away and won't have to bundle a newborn in a ridiculous amount of layers just to leave the house. Oh- and we won't get stuck in a snow storm on the way home from the hospital. That'll be a big plus.
It has been interesting having opposite experiences with pregnancy towards the end, though the pregnancies themselves have felt fairly similar. I go to the doctor tomorrow, which I'll be doing weekly now until she comes. I'm anxious to find out my progress, baby position, and anything else I'll be able to find out. It is time to get ready for this little one!
And for some exciting news for our family- Callie's great-grandma (Gi-Gi) has officially moved from Eau Claire to Minneapolis! We went to visit her at her new place tonight, and it will be wonderful to have her in town. Especially with all the fun changes that will be happening this month. Welcome to Minnesota, Gi-Gi!
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Weekend Wrap-Up
As I mentioned in my Friday post, we had a HUGE storm on Friday night (after already getting a HUGE storm on Thursday night).
Chris had reserve duty, but thankfully my family was over so Cal and I weren't alone when the scary part of the storm hit (including the power going out).
With the power going out, obviously, our air conditioning was out as well. Not fun for a super pregnant person, who is usually a total baby about being hot even when NOT pregnant. I always put our air on at the first sign of any kind of heat over 70 degrees.
Anyway, so it was hot, and Chris ended up having to work until 3:30am, so there was not much sleep had by either of us. Thankfully, Callie slept through both Thursday and Friday nights' storms like a champ.
Our power came back on around 8:30am Saturday, and I realize how very lucky we are. Both of my sisters live in areas of Minneapolis that got hit really hard. Laura's power went on last night and Mari still doesn't have it. So I know we got really lucky just having it out for about 12 hours.
On Saturday we went over to G-ma and G-pa's house to welcome G-ma back from a long trip to California. Callie was happy to see her, and had fun playing with Auntie Cat in the closet. :)
Our friends Brent and Bethany came over and brought a delicious dinner on Saturday night...and we enjoyed hanging out in our very cool and air conditioned basement. :)
This morning Chris took Callie to the zoo, and then we met Dave and Cherilyn for brunch with the kiddos.
Speaking of Lynx, we headed downtown for a Lynx game tonight!
Hamsie Update: 36 weeks. She is around 6 pounds and more than 18.5 inches long. Hopefully she is head down- she has been for awhile, but she has been moving around like crazy the past few days, so who knows. I go to the doctor on Friday, and then every Friday until she comes. We have a month (or less) to go and I'm starting to freak out big time. We really don't have anything ready, because we're going to be moving in a couple of weeks. We have no diapers. Haven't gone through any of Callie's baby clothes. I went online to schedule a tour of the brand new Mother and Baby Center at the hospital, and the first time we could get in was July 16th, a whopping 4 days before Hamsie is due. So...if she is early we may not even know where to go when I go into labor. I know it will all be fine, but my pregnancy hormone-laden brain keeps me up early in the morning worrying about all the things we haven't done yet. All the plans we haven't even made. Just all the things.
As for Callie, I think she is getting just as anxious to meet her as we are. Today when we were reading books and she was feeling Hamsie move, she said "Why do we have to wait til JULY for her to come out?"
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
Chris had reserve duty, but thankfully my family was over so Cal and I weren't alone when the scary part of the storm hit (including the power going out).
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| Hanging out watching the crazy storm around 8pm after the power went out |
Anyway, so it was hot, and Chris ended up having to work until 3:30am, so there was not much sleep had by either of us. Thankfully, Callie slept through both Thursday and Friday nights' storms like a champ.
Our power came back on around 8:30am Saturday, and I realize how very lucky we are. Both of my sisters live in areas of Minneapolis that got hit really hard. Laura's power went on last night and Mari still doesn't have it. So I know we got really lucky just having it out for about 12 hours.
On Saturday we went over to G-ma and G-pa's house to welcome G-ma back from a long trip to California. Callie was happy to see her, and had fun playing with Auntie Cat in the closet. :)
Our friends Brent and Bethany came over and brought a delicious dinner on Saturday night...and we enjoyed hanging out in our very cool and air conditioned basement. :)
This morning Chris took Callie to the zoo, and then we met Dave and Cherilyn for brunch with the kiddos.
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| Checking out the lynx |
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| Silly girls |
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| Go LYNX!!! |
Hamsie Update: 36 weeks. She is around 6 pounds and more than 18.5 inches long. Hopefully she is head down- she has been for awhile, but she has been moving around like crazy the past few days, so who knows. I go to the doctor on Friday, and then every Friday until she comes. We have a month (or less) to go and I'm starting to freak out big time. We really don't have anything ready, because we're going to be moving in a couple of weeks. We have no diapers. Haven't gone through any of Callie's baby clothes. I went online to schedule a tour of the brand new Mother and Baby Center at the hospital, and the first time we could get in was July 16th, a whopping 4 days before Hamsie is due. So...if she is early we may not even know where to go when I go into labor. I know it will all be fine, but my pregnancy hormone-laden brain keeps me up early in the morning worrying about all the things we haven't done yet. All the plans we haven't even made. Just all the things.
As for Callie, I think she is getting just as anxious to meet her as we are. Today when we were reading books and she was feeling Hamsie move, she said "Why do we have to wait til JULY for her to come out?"
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
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