A DEFIANT DIVA who DISOBEYS.
Like the alliteration I did there?
One of my favorite quotes from "The Brady Bunch Movie" is when Jan is trying to talk to her siblings and they aren't listening to her at all. She says, "AM I INVISIBLE? DO I NOT HAVE A VOICE?"
That is what I have felt like for 5 days.
She just ran circles around me while I was trying to put her down for a nap and I had to temper down the mean teacher part of me that flared up at the first sign of defiance.
Breathed deeply and chanted to myself: She's only two-almost-three. She's only two-almost-three. She's only two-almost-three.
So anyway, I did in fact google "defiant three-year-old" and many parenting sites popped up with many words of wisdom. My favorite one is from the online guru of all things pregnancy, baby and kid- babycenter.com.
Here is what I learned and little self-reflection to go along with it.
1) "Be understanding"- Hmmm...maybe I'm not good at that one. I'm well-versed in dealing with elementary school kid defiance but this toddler defiance is out of my realm of understanding. Noted, self. Be more understanding.
2) "Set limits" - I totally do that. Or at least try to. Or like to think that I do...
3) "Reinforce good behavior" - YES. I got this one. I am ALWAYS telling her things like "Wow! I like how you came right when I asked!" or "You did SUCH a great job going potty today!"
4) "Use time outs- positively" - I think we do this too. We don't use the traditional "go to your room" time out thing. It has never worked for her. But we do try to be proactive and diffuse crazy behavior by scooping her up and holding her for a bit if things are getting out of hand.
5) "Empower your preschooler" - Um, ALL OVER IT. I give choices approximately 856,833 times a day between my kids at school and my toddler at home. For example, today before nap time I had to stoop as low as, "You can choose to lie down on your back, your side or your tummy" when she was refusing to lay in her bed at all. Or, "which shoe should we put on first, the right or the left?" when she doesn't want to get ready to go. SO MANY CHOICES. ALL OF THE TIME.
6) "Choose your battles" - Uh oh. I think my husband can attest to the fact that I am not (in any way) good at this. I blame, once again, my 8 years of teaching experience and the fact that I'm always terrified if I let kids get away with something once, they'll do it over and over again. We're taught that it is better to start out strict and ease up than start out too easy going and have to fight to gain back control. It is probably not exactly the same thing with parenting a toddler, huh?
7) "Distract and divert" - This is the BEST. STRATEGY.EVER. This is the reason that we still carry around a backpack full of toys and books in public. And how Chris and I have both become AMAZING at getting her totally engaged in conversation (about favorite princesses, for example) before scooping her up and plopping her on the potty before she even knows that she's doing it. And why it is a beautiful thing that toddlers have short attention spans. They are so easily distracted from naughty behavior if you catch them off-guard with something that appears more fun for them.
So I found I have some areas of strength and areas to work on. Not bad.
But, of course, none of this is even necessary when she is with her grandparents. Why, you ask?
Because the DEFIANT DIVA "magically" becomes an ADORABLE ANGEL.
She's lucky she's so stinkin' cute.
