Invited Defiance

I was struggling with trying to figure something to blog about besides just doing my normal picture posts.  And then I learned a new phrase today after reading this awesome article.

So today I'm blogging about DEFIANCE (but not the city in Ohio...any Scandal watchers out there?  you know what I'm talking about).

But seriously, if you are currently in the throes of toddlerhood, check it out.

Believe it or not, our 4-year-old can be so unbelievably defiant.

I know that you're thinking to yourself "How can that be?  She looks so innocent!"

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  That's hilarious.

Who me?

I remember a couple years ago I started telling her to do the opposite of what I wanted her to do in order for her to actually do what I wanted.  (e.g. "Don't you dare beat me up the stairs!"...and cue her running up the stairs after refusing to do it when I asked her nicely.)

I have started to do the same kind of thing lately, mostly in an effort to turn her crabby attitude around.  A couple of weeks ago we were meeting my dad and sister for lunch.  Callie was being super crabby and starting to get a little out of control.  So I just said (jokingly of course), "You are NOT allowed to smile OR laugh at lunch.  Not at all.  That is the rule."  She IMMEDIATELY went from being super cranky, to giggling and laughing- gleefully defying me.  Since then I have done it every so often, and she also asks to play it like a game.

It has been helping.  But until I read that article, I was worried that I was teaching her to be MORE defiant.  Now I understand that "Invited Defiance" is a way to give her a sense of power in the safest way possible. 

So maybe next time, if your kid makes a face like THIS after you ask her to smile,

 

go ahead and tell her that she is NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, allowed to smile.  You may just get a sweet grin, like this.