Me, not Callie. I'm in meltdown mode. She's fantastic.
I can't really describe how I feel besides saying that my stomach feels sick, my heart feels heavy and I'm just kind of a walking disaster.
But I see her looking like this:
and I can't FATHOM the thought of not spending all day every day with her. I know how lucky I am to have gotten another 8 weeks at home with her after already having a maternity leave. So Rational Me is telling Irrational Me to suck it up and count my blessings. But Irrational Me is telling Rational Me to zip it and feel sorry for myself, thus spurring on multiple meltdowns.
Sorry for the depressing post, but I figured maybe if I put how I'm feeling out there in the universe, Irrational Me might start to fade and I can just be thankful for my baby, my family, my friends, my job, and my sweet life. And become meltdown free.
We've continued to stay busy on our last week of summer vacation. Yesterday my mom and I went to a big garage sale and found tons of winter stuff for Callie for super cheap. It was brand name stuff like Carter's, Baby Gap and Gymboree...score! I had a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that I had to totally ignore the 0-3, 3-6 and 6-9 month tables and focus on buying the 12-18 month sized stuff. WHAT?????? Oh well. I'm over it.
Yesterday afternoon someone finally figured out the Jenny Jump-Up!
That is what I would say if you came over to our house. It is a disaster. And I don't care. I am not going to spend my last week of freedom doing mundane tasks like putting laundry away (I think everything that Chris and I own is in a pile up to my knees at the top of our stairs...but it is clean so I should get some credit for that, right?) or doing dishes (except bottles...those are a must). Or vacuuming. Or dusting. Or cleaning the bathroom. Nope. I'm just focusing on having fun with my baby. And when she naps, I nap. Or watch TV or relax. And I eat. A lot. I'm giving myself to the end of August to not worry about calories (or the extra 5-7 pounds that have crept up on me this summer). Come September 1st I'll be calorie counting again and attempting some exercise. But until then, bring on the yummy food!
Anyway, this week is filled with fun activities. Yesterday we went with my friend Kylie and Callie's friend Calvin to the zoo to see a Barney sing-a-long. Barney was not a hit.
Well, he was with everyone else's children, but not my child. This is as excited as her face got, and for most of the 20 minutes she wanted to face me and whimper. Oh well, I tried.
Today my friend Jenna and Callie's friend Charlie came over and we walked to Highland and ate lunch at Chipotle, browsed Barnes and Noble, and got a coffee treat from Starbucks (remember I said I wasn't worrying about calories?). Then this afternoon we went over to Grandma and Grandpa's house to see them and Cathleen. It is Grandma and Grandpa's 37th Wedding Anniversary today! Happy Anniversary G & G! Callie went "swimming" in the rubber ducky. It was adorable.
I remember last Sunday thinking "A week from now our vacation will be over." And sadly, here we are...a week later, after a wonderfully fantastic week, we are home with the end of summer approaching way too quickly.
As I blogged earlier, our time at du Nord was fabulous. We had an equally fun time in Duluth for our friends' wedding. Chris and Dan were both in the wedding and we got to hang out with friends we don't see often, as well as reconnect with good friends we lost touch with and hadn't seen for a couple of years! So it was great. Here are a few pics:
Rehearsal dinner
A perfect day!
Family picture
A double rainbow during the reception- beautiful!
Hanging out with Uncle Dan
The guys looking sharp
The ladies
Callie fell asleep and let us stay at the reception until 10:45pm!
This week also marked an ending and some new beginnings.
Some background information: The past month I have really only nursed Callie once or twice a day. Not because I wanted to wean her, but because she is way too interested in what is going on in the world. I was really only able to get her to nurse early in the morning when she was still groggy. Basically, she has NO time for having to be held like a baby facing me in order to eat. She'd much rather sit up and face the world. She also has discovered biting with her lovely little bottom teeth. After my yelps of "ouch" (which Callie finds hilarious), she looks up at me and just giggles. Little stinker.
So I think this past Wednesday morning at 6am was our last nursing session together.
Thankfully, she was able to redeem herself by starting to do a few new things. This week she really started reaching for me...both from the floor or other places that she is sitting, and from other people. She is becoming a total Mommy's girl. I know that stranger anxiety will soon follow, but right now, I am LOVING the fact that she reaches for me on her own because she knows I'm her Mama.
And as of today, she can now say "ma-ma-ma-ma". Yay! I've been working on it all summer and usually our conversation goes like this:
Me: Callie can you say mama? MA-MA??? Callie: Da-da-da-da-da Me: No. Not Dada. MAMA. MA-MA-MA-MA. Callie: Da-da-di-di-da-da.
And so on.
But this morning, I got my "Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma" and she's been saying it ever since.
All of this comes at the end of the most wonderful summer vacation I've ever had. On our drive back from Duluth I started feeling really sorry for myself. I was sitting in the back listening to my silly baby babble and blow spit bubbles and being all around adorable. And I felt my heart breaking thinking about going back to work in a week...going back to the crazy stress of 8-5 workdays. But I know that I need to have a serious attitude check because I am amazingly lucky. I'm amazingly lucky because:
1) I have a happy, beautiful and healthy baby to come home to every night (and a wonderful husband too!). 2) I have a job that allows for summers off, winter and spring breaks, random days off throughout the year, and flexibility for other time off I need to take. I am also fortunate to work with wonderful people who I consider dear friends and are a wonderful support system. 3) Callie gets to spend her days away from me with the best possible people she could spend them with. Our same daycare schedule with the Grandparents we had in the spring is continuing and we're so blessed. 4) I had a wonderful summer with the best baby in the world. I have lots of pictures and memories to cherish. And I am so thankful.
As I was typing this, Callie was on the floor with Chris saying "Ma-ma-ma-ma" and Chris said "Um, Daddy?" to which she had no response.
The Gosselin family spent about 3 days together at Camp du Nord. This camp is north of Ely on Burnside Lake. It is the camp that Chris and his family went to for many years growing up. We also know a few other families who go there every year. Chris and I were there on our 1st wedding anniversary and haven't gotten to go back since then, so we were very excited about this trip. And it didn't disappoint. Especially since we got to bring Callie Joy, and spend lots of time with her Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie Cathleen and Uncle Dan (who works up there this summer as program director).
We stayed with Dan in his cabin, which was lovely for me seeing as I really am more of an indoor girl. We got a bed AND a bathroom right in the cabin...as well as a spectacular view of the lake. We spent our days swimming, canoeing (some of us- not the baby!), hiking, playing games, eating at the dining hall, reading, relaxing, and having campfires. Callie was a true camper- she loved being in the lake, hanging out with her grandparents, aunt and uncle, and going with the flow. She was pretty good about taking naps, though sometimes she got mad knowing that there was action going on and she was missing it. But all in all, she was a wonderful baby, and as Grandma says, "has Camp du Nord in her blood!"
Here is a sampling of pictures from our trip:
Swimming in the lake
Lake time with Grandma
Hanging out with Uncle Dan
Campfire with Grandpa
Morning reading time in the swing chair
Hanging out with the Kochs
Beach time with Daddy
On a walk around camp in the jogging stroller with mosquito netting
Family Picture
Hiking with Auntie Cathleen
Dining Hall
Triathlon Team: Chris- Swimmer; Kati- Runner; Dave and Bob- Paddlers; Callie- Cheerleader!
Welcome sign
As usual, there were many more pictures taken (including shots of the beautiful outdoors!) that can be found at our Shutterfly site:
http://babygoose806.shutterfly.com
I just started uploading them all so they'll be up shortly!
As I mentioned earlier, we have a wedding this weekend that Chris and Dan are both in. Life continues to be busy as summer winds down!
