6 Years

This is the sixth April that has felt heavy on my heart.  Each one has been a little less so than the previous one, but heavy nonetheless.  Six years ago, on April 30th, 2015, my dad unexpectedly died and our world completely changed.

I'm not sure what more to say today.  In past years I wrote things that just flowed out of my heart and down through my fingers expressing my grief and gratitude in ways I just don't feel capable of now. 

I guess I'm feeling a bit numb this year.  Maybe it's the pandemic and the hard school year and coming out of winter.  Maybe it's the passage of another year and the trying to remember things that seem to be fading away more quickly.  Maybe it is because I have fully embraced my Enneagram 9-ness where numbing is my dominant coping skill.

Whatever it is, that's where I'm at on this sixth 30th of April..

I took the day off today and the girls and I went to the zoo.  We had to buy tickets ahead of time and wear masks inside and avoid other people as best as we could, but it was something that felt almost normal.  

We also took Bops' favorite treats to Lakewood and enjoyed the pretty surroundings and sugar that he would have no doubt spoiled them with on a regular basis if he was here with us.

That is still the most painful part.  The thought of how much fun he would have with his four crazy granddaughters.  I know this because I lost one of my grandpas when I was only a toddler, and as I grew up I felt the loss of that relationship deeply.  I know the girls will feel that too.

But, as always, I come back to gratitude for the time I had with him.  Gratitude that my girls have pictures with him that can reinforce memories they will cherish.  

And gratitude that our family has persevered and continues to be the happy, strong and loving crew that he would be so proud of.

I love you and miss you, Dad.

Timehop Tuesday

It took me until 6pm to realize it is Tuesday!  So here are a couple crazy sisters.

Weekend Wrap-Up: Happy Birthday Babygoose (and me, yesterday!)

Hey everybody!  Happy Sunday!

Today happens to be the12th birthday of this blog, which means that 12 years ago yesterday (on my 27th birthday), we found out we were having a baby!

I started this blog twelve years ago because "Mommy Blogs" were a whole big thing on the internet.  That really isn't the case anymore, as Facebook and Instagram took over that space.  But for me, this blog has always been a place to just share pictures and stories.  And in the past six years it has been a place for me to write out feelings of grief (and joy).

This past year has consisted of a challenging mix of quarantining, fear of COVID, a tense political climate, and challenging racial issues in our city and around the world, among other things.  I haven't really known what to discuss here, so I feel like overall I have been pretty surface level and focused on our little world.  

But ultimately, this is a place I keep for our close family to enjoy and for the girls to look at eventually (maybe in 10 or 20 years looking at an "internet blog" will be akin to what looking at "printed photos in an album" feels like now?).  The girls are also older now, and it makes it more challenging to determine what is MY story to share, vs. what is THEIR story to share.  They don't always love when I whip out my phone to take pictures.  Sometimes I have to use bribery.  Other times they tell me not to show a particular photo or video, so I don't.  It is a weird middle place to be in.  

All this to say I have no idea if this space will change and shift moving forward, or if the typical "regular" posts will just be the standard and maybe lessen in length in time.  Who knows.  But if you are still reading this word vomit salad of my inner thoughts, thanks for sticking it out with me these past 12 years!

And thanks for all the birthday texts, cards, calls, and love you sent me yesterday.  I really appreciate it!  As an occasionally achy 39-year-old, my husband's gift to me was on point.

Anyway.  Here are the pics from the weekend.  Yesterday I got this text and picture from Maya's iPad, got this beautiful poster to put on my wall, and ate homemade Eggs Benedict for my birthday breakfast!

We had a quiet day of puzzling, cleaning and resting. 

Then Boom, Auntie Yoda, Uncle Craigles, Lucy and Mila came over for a deck dinner!

Boom made homemade layers of butterscotch, vanilla and caramel pudding for my birthday treat, which was AMAZING. And even though it was chilly, Maya and I were able to take Luna out for an evening field run in the sun before the girls went to bed.

Today has been very quiet at home day.  Chris worked out in the backyard.  The girls played outside with the neighbor boys.  I did some cleaning and some puzzling.  Luna did some high maintenance needing of all the attention.  

I took the girls to the park but it didn’t last too long because it is cold!

Anyway...it was a pretty typical and relaxed day. And I’m grateful for it.

A Picture Update

Hey all-

It has been quite a week, so I don't have much brain power today.  So here are some scenes from the week...we got a lot of baby/toddler time, outdoor time, a birthday BBQ and fun at Boom's!

Also, this 90s puzzle was VERY fun for this 80s/90s girl.

Have a good weekend!

Happy Birthday Auntie Hanna!

Yay it’s Auntie Hanna’s birthday today! We love you and hope you have a fun one!

Timehop Tuesday

Happy Tuesday!

Weekend Wrap-Up

It’s already Sunday night so here we go!

Saturday- beautiful early morning run

And playtime with the Lindsay cousins!


Sunday- new porch and deck set-ups!

And playtime with the Gosselin cousins!

Have a good week!

A Picture Update

Well you guys. It is Friday. We are in the middle of April and there are 8 weeks left of the school year. The Twin Cities is dealing with another tragic situation and things are hard. But we are so grateful for health and safety and feel unbelievably privileged. So that’s all I got today.

Monday: PJs all day and a sheepish dog who keeps falling off the dang bed

Tuesday: playtime and dinner with the sweet little niece and nephew 

Wednesday-Thursday: unintentionally twinning with the tween (who is super excited about it) and maya putting G-ma through the wringer with a memory game and school 

Friday: fun at Boom’s house and clearing out the porch and deck for furniture upgrades!

Have a great weekend!

Timehop Tuesday

This might be my most favorite Timehop in a long time! 

Gosselin babies that say “oooooh!”

Weekend Wrap-Up

Ahhhhh how is it already Sunday night?!?!

Ok...here are the pics from the weekend!

At home on Saturday morning: playing on Gigi’s piano, Maya LOVES funny filters, and a tired doggie after a 3 mile run.

Then Maya found a recipe for the “best chocolate cookies” on the internet and we made them!

Later that afternoon we went to hang out with Uncle Dan, Auntie Hanna, Mitchell and Isla...with golf, cookies, and more filter fun! 

Today we just tried to be both lazy AND productive. And the neighborhood scooter gang got together!

Tonight I made some homemade broccoli and shells Mac and cheese and Maya, Luna and I were a “snuggling crew.”

Have a great week!

A Picture Update: Two Harbors!

Happy Friday!  The week of spring break FLEW by...mostly because Chris and I spent a good chunk of it up north in Two Harbors!  

On Monday I finished a puzzle, went for a pretty run, and the girls got HAIRCUTS (and had colorful suckers).

After lunch on Tuesday Chris and I dropped off the girls at G-ma and Pa's house and headed north.  We got to Tettegouche for a hike in the late afternoon.  The sun was there when we first go there, and has we were hiking the fog rolled in.  It was pretty cool, actually!

Then we headed to our resort...Larsmont!  We had a lakeside "cottage suite" and the view of the lake was lovely. We wandered around the lakeshore for a bit and ordered take-out from the resort restaurant.

It was rainy (all week, basically) on Wednesday morning.  I still got out for a lakeshore walk and then worked on a puzzle while Chris had to work.

We FaceTimed the girls and even got to see Luna! Maya was excited.  Callie didn't want to be bothered (she was reading) and Luna was confused.

That night was REALLY windy and rainy.  We drove down to Duluth and tried to walk around Canal Park, but it wasn't that fun because of the weather.  So we ended up driving around for awhile and then once again going to pick up takeout.  The view out our window was very wet.

When I went out for a walk on Thursday morning, I interrupted a group of deer eating breakfast at 6:4am. I also had scheduled a 9am massage and it was SO amazing.  The "massage cottage" was right on the lake so the windows were open and I could hear the waves the whole time.

Then Chris and I headed to Gooseberry Falls!  The water was rushing SO fast.  We did a 2 mile hike around the waterfalls and even passed a couple getting engaged on one of the bridges!  They were so excited and it was adorable.

As you can see, the color of the waterfalls was a weird rusty yellow.  So I thought I'd make one of my pics a black and white.  

It was VERY rainy that afternoon, so we hunkered down in our room and I worked on the puzzle while Chris watched the Masters.  It was a lovely and relaxing afternoon/evening!

While we were gone, the girls spent two nights at G-ma and Pa's house and had a blast as usual. 

Then they spent the night with Boom on Thursday night, and had a blast there, too!

This morning we finished out our trip with a 1.5 walk for coffee in the rain!

Click here for 2ish minutes of lovely north shore scenery!

We were happy to be reunited with these crazy girls to finish out the weekend back together.